The Sexual Progression Story

Right a few things need to be said before you read this blog;

Firstly i might have to change a few names as i don't want to be sued or beaten up by the people i got involved with at a very early age.

Secondly (if thats even a real word) if after you read this and get all self righteous with me i will beat you down .

Thirdly this is ment as a cautionary tale to help a younger generation . . . . . well sort of mainly im doing it cus i think it was very funny at the time.

right lets start. . . . . .



My first memory of starting to look at guys came pretty early to what i remember anyways . I'm pretty sure i was around six maybe seven and my dad took me to the swimming baths. I remember literally being in awe of so many naked guys (the vast amount being middle aged or rank so i don't really get that one) but yeah i would do everything in my power to stay in those changing rooms and stare , compare and contrast . So much so i actually insisted on swimming lessons every week and this was purely so i could look at guys.

After that i stayed pretty much generic small boy

A brief couple of moments at sleepovers with unexplained hard ons and very graphic dreams for someone so young and completely inexperienced.


Then the joys of secondary school began.

Again apart from the occasional stare fest and a boy with his shirt off or shorts on nothing really to report.

I remember i stole one of those really awful free gay magazines from my dads when i went down once i used to jack off to that almost nightly (i know i know cringe . . . wait it gets worse)

I dont even remember how this one started off but during lunch friends and i used to just chill in one of the art rooms of my school where i used to feel a friend up under the desk . . . . when i say "feel up" i actually mean toss off.
Im not sure why he let me do it but i think when your that age you just wanna get some basically.
This continued for pretty much the entire last two years of secondary school . but the person changed alot . . . . from friends to actual enemies who asked my to toss them off in the changing rooms of our P.E department . . . . (looking back on it , its all a bit to queer as folk for me but it was still good at the time)

But still the burning issue of my virginity
none of these boys would even consider actually fucking its all fine when its in your hands/mouths but soon as they come its get away from me fag etc etc . . . . god now i sound like blaine from cruel intentions
......
....
well i was trying find a video of the bit in cruel intentions where blaine talks about "the gregster" but alas no joy :(

Anyways back to the blog,

i was still tossing and turning (pardon the expression) about losing my virginity , sadly this issue also co-insides with my frequent and heavy use of drink and drugs at this time.
so one brilliant evening i sign up to one of those gay networking sights. . . . (don't try to cover it up by saying meet friends and new people you just want to fuck end of)

still being 15 i was obvs well under age for such things but it literally consumed me everyday and night thinking about sex.

A guy who lived pretty close to my parents messaged me , he was about late 40s early 50s (his profile said 31 i may over been young and stupid but mate really i aint blind)
after the obligatory swapping of cock shots he arranged to meet (booty call . . . . KNOW THIS if a guy says lets meet up , go for coffee , hang out , watch a film , go to town , go for a drink it all means i wanna fuck)

I didnt wanna go straight to his house so i got him to meet me on his street corner . . . i know i know ALRIGHT HOOKER!
As i got ready to leave my house i could feel my heart beating in my knees i was that shit scared i even told my mum is you dont hear from me in two hours keep ringing my phone then call the police ..... i still wonder now what she must of thought i was going out to do HA.

Once we got to his house i was pretty much a nervous reck literally shaking like a leaf , i think he like it cus at one point he was literally scaring me up and down as a shuck.
we exchanged small talk about his typical 40 something home , his ikea furniture AND HIS WIFE!!!!!
then went upstairs.

he asked if he could kiss me . . . .
I thought

"so this is what all those victorian whores went through" ( dont ask why)

His ageing body in contrast to mine probably looked like some magic mirror or a francis Bacon painting. But it wasnt over with yet.
He lent over and pulled out a small bottle of popper from the bed side table ( I was 15 and still knew that poppers were wank and for chavs and emo kids "down the park")
then asked me to fuck him.

It was the worst experience in my life looking down at that horrific body and (thanks to the popper) red flushed faced i only wanted it over and done with.
he came pretty dam quickly maybe it was his age then let me finish up ...... uh i've always hated that phrase

Anyways after i literally felt dirty but also quite pleased with myself.
he then dropped another bomb shell. . . . . He was a senior police officer who actually knew my family.

Oh well he just fuck'd a 15 year old he couldnt do a thing . . . . . I think i might of threatened him about it .

Anyways after he fell asleep i quickly threw some clothes on grabbed his wallet and ran out the door keeping the cash but through the cards in the air as i walked out leaving his door wide open.
I actually felt so badass , Once i got home i had the longest shower ever i literally scrubbed myself clean .



I never heard from him again. But even now i still look at his house when i pass by and always in the back of my mind is the idea that i should turn up one day and say he gave me aids or something.

The 60 pound i stole bought me.

-Placebo's Without you i'm nothing album
-A pair of jeans
-Film for my camera
and a cinema ticket ( i cant remember what for though )


I still have the receipts .