I Google You

Spent the majority of yesterday discussing what i want from a relationship with sparky.
It turns out i'm very picky, I think my ideal man is the love child of Faris Badwan and Neil Gaiman.
Does this man exist?


answer, probably not.

Does a man holding one of those brilliant men's traits exists . . . . . probably .
Then why whenever i end up single do i end up in gay bars / clubs?
Because I AM A GLUTEN FOR PUNISHMENT , also i think i enjoy watching the chaos unfold before me .
The lingering hugs , the sly hands strokes even the brief but mind blowingly intense eye contact as you pass in a door way.
Whenever I'm in a gay club with a group of friends i always feel like some doomed general of an army my men go out to battle but they never return.

I think for me gay culture has never really evolved from what i imagined the 80s to be like and yet we all still fall for the same old same old. even my close friends who claim they hate gay clubs and that whole mess end up trotting off every weekend to have a casual fumble in the mixed gender toilets.
Then comes the adding on various social networking sites and the obligatory stalk
cunningly hidden in the purely innocent liking of a persons status.

I think i'm going to write a book on the mating habits of the modern gay
It will include such tools as the "hey Mr . . . . " start to a txt and the four mile stare when they set their sites on a boy.

I just want a bit of originality and thought perhaps is that too much to ask.

I know its all well and good me slagging it all off but i've been there . I was once that awful boy chasing someone around the internet and only going somewhere because i thought i'd see him again.
I want a national shake a gay day.
TOO WHOM READS THIS NEXT TIME YOU SEEN YOU "GAY BEST FRIEND" GRAB THEM SAY YOUR SORRY AND SHAKE THEM , THEN SAY THOSE immortal lines "HE'S REALLY NOT THAT INTO YOU".
This will help them because i don't know about you but i'm really fed up of picking up all the pieces of another broken "romance".
Because when they split with their "one true loves" (whom of which they met in the smoking area and bonded out of mutual love for the works of Ke$ha)
I end up having to string out a bunch of fake lines like "He's such a mess your so much hotter" (i die inside when i say that one)

I think everyone has a level of narcissism in them and secretly just wants a boy like themselves . . . . but let me get this straight.

YOU HATE GAY CLUBS AND THE CULTURE.

then why . . .

WOULD YOUR PERFECT GUY BE THERE ASWELL ?


JUST THINK SILLY GAYS THATS ALL.