As the Title indicates and many may already know i've just returned from a wee trip to Berlin,
The trip can be described in one word . . . . . "CUNTSTRUCK" . . . . . but then there would be no need for this blog.
After being well over charged by a sneaky D Bag of a taxi driver we got to our apartment in one piece , to be greeted by its owner , The now infamous "CLAUDIA" . . . . . this woman is a fugly slut! . . . . ha jk. Nah but oh my days shes like a cross between an 80s fitness instructor and pure hands down EURO-TRASH.
She handed us a map of Berlin and circled areas SHE THOUGHT we might like to go . . . . . .
I dont know what it says about my appearance or general personality but every place was gay . . . . . . . . . .
I picked up a small present for my friend craig from said gay areas with some core hot spots of gay berlin to take in enjoy.
Such As
BIG SEXILAND
COCKS BERLIN CRUISING BAR
AND
BASSY COWBOY CLUB
Right . . . . if anyone has seen the film slash show of Cabaret or is familiar with Berlin you may of heard of the Kit Kat Club. . . .
In the show its made out to be a place of jazz , gin , glamour and gays
HOW WRONG I WAS !
Seeing as the club didnt open till 1 we went for drinks in the centre and happened to get talking to a waiter who had been a few times .
He told us .
"If they dont let you in just take your clothes off"
so we knew this wasn't gonna be like a night at the colli for example . . . . . . (well) . . . .
but yeah he kept on about how CRAZY , AND SEXY it was , which made it all the worse for the realisation of it all.
skip ahead to outside the club two large doormen informed the guys in front of us they couldn't go in due to "Not wearing SEXXXY clothes" . . . . . . OBVS let us straight in (BACK OF THE HAIR NET). After walking down a small garden path we arrive at a large black padded door where a small slightly aging german woman answers , looks us up and down then lets you enter.
(has Flash back and take a moment)
From the second i walked in i knew this was not at ALL like the Kit Kat club from CABARET but some sleezy sex club from an episode of Louis Theroux . . . . .
The bar and main area was covered in wipe-able leather and "sexy versions" of classic painting . . . . . . .
"Oh yeah i forgot people got Rimmed at the last supper. . . "
No sooner had we bought our drinks that my eyes were met by the view of an elderly man about 60 to 70s complete naked Wanking himself off much too the pleasure of himself and the other club goes. . . . . .
I watched as one by one Married couples trying to spice up their loveless relationships entered dress in leather and PVC. . . . The odd muscle bound gay wearing (VOMS) "Aussiebum" (gays choice)
Was the only rest bite in the Sea of ageing torsos and pendulous genitals.
In The Dance Room the club goes raved to 90s Euro-house (VOMS) whilst Penetrating each other
And in the outside / Pool area predatory gays stare you down whilst swigging dark rum and coke.
I think personally the straw which broke . . . . . no fuck it the thing which made me go "right lets get the fuck out of here"
was . . . . .
I sat and watched as a woman in here 50s got fingered by her husband. . . . who when he got bored of it all tapped the top of her cunt as if she was a dog (VOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM)
. . . . . . . We Swiftly departed said club after said incident . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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